So, what have I done for you lately? 1

Answer, not much.

My problem in writing when I'm trying to build something entirely new is I eventually reach a point of compounding and stacking unrealistic expectations and anxiety where I go from "trying to write" to "now it is impossible to write" and there is no way to make progress whatsoever.

This leads to a very simple and specific outcome where I need to stop hammering on myself, step back from the computer, close the awful thing down and then find something, anything, else to do, for two to three weeks until this amorphous, soul destroying negative feedback loop has effectively dissipated and I can try to get back to work.

So, how was your end of May?

I did end up doing quite a few things I really like that had absolutely nothing to do with real specific work. These included.

1. Hiking the Green Bay trail in the Chicago Far North and just generally doing my bohemian dropout routine. Took pictures and explored quite a bit, finding really nice comfortable libraries I like and just getting exercise and thinking.

2. Found a number of fun used book and record stories in various strategic and useful places.

3. Spent some time at the Chicago Botanic Gardens which always hugely relaxes me even when I get to hike back to the Metra train station in the rain, which somehow was still pretty fun.

I admittedly should have said something before now, but if you keep up with me on twitter, I think I made the point that I needed a vacation and I took one?